Sophie agonises, plus pavlova

I haven't really worked out in my own head what is worthy of being blogged about. Do just random thoughts count, or does something have to have happened? I'm not even in Brazil yet, but I have thoughts that I want to express. Should they be going in my diary, rather than in this slightly more public place? What do people even want to know about? Are my increasingly hysterical mood swings of any interest to anyone? The only answer is to write what I feel like writing, and if you, dearest reader, aren't interested, than this is my big red flag now saying stop, it isn't going to get any better.

I don't know how I'm feeling. One minute I'm over the moon- I have a host family, who are amazing people and we've been emailing and everything is wonderful and I'm going to Brazil, which is pretty darn amazing just in itself and packing is exciting and I'm off on an adventure. On the other hand, what am I doing with my life? Saying goodbye is the hardest thing I could ever do, and I have to say goodbye over and over and over. The last couple of weeks have been full of goodbyes. Some of them I say that we'll see each other again, but I know that that's not guaranteed. It certainly feels permanent. And there are still 12 days to go. 12 more days of goodbye, and terrified. Sometimes really random little things make everything better though. Like today when I was in Whitcoulls looking for a Portuguese dictionary, and the Whitcoulls lady told me about her sister who lived in New Caledonia and learnt French, and it was such a comfort. Random Whitcoulls lady, whoever you are, you made my day.

In other news, I made my first pavlova today! I'm such a kiwi... I'm supposed to make New Zealand food for AFS things while I'm in Brazil, apparently, so pavlova it is. Also exciting, I figured out how to add photos to my blog. Next steps: taking good photos...

Oh, by the way, there were earthquakes. That was fun. Here's hoping there aren't any while I'm away- wouldn't want to miss out or anything.